


No Potion Needed

by MyOwnNyoom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Love Triangles, Merula is cute, Merula swears, Romance, Romantic Soulmates, School Dances, Soulmates, Suicide, Why Did I Write This?, heterochromia soulmates, i hate love triangles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-27 13:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15025496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyOwnNyoom/pseuds/MyOwnNyoom
Summary: Heterochromia soulmates. Player character is called Emily.Emily's mom has dedicated a lot of time into making (illegal) soulmate potions. The idea of people who were made to be together forever has always been an interest of hers. So when her potions finally start to work on her daughter? It's heaven.Especially when Emily meets her soulmate- and brings her home when Hogwarts is closed for some time.---Oh yeah, and then there's some other guy who thinks he can steal Merula away or something. Fool. I am the author I make the rules. Smh.---This ignores a whole lot of canon- Series or game related, because I'm too lazy to finish the game and I haven't had time to read the books or watch the movies. There's also a big time skip to fourth year oops.





	1. That's Enough

I can’t help but be nervous when the sorting hat is on my head. My mother was a Gryffindor. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter to her which house I’m placed in, though, as long as I’m satisfied. 

 

_ Think about what you like. What house would best suit your instincts? _

 

Is what I told myself, but the minute I thought about what I’m interested in, my thoughts went to my soulmate.

 

My mother likes to… invent new potions in her spare time. She never records her recipes, never remembers how she made them, but she’s become obsessed with soulmate potions since before I was born. She tried them first on herself, but they didn’t work, and then on my brother, who also didn’t make it work. Something clicked in her then. 

 

She found the perfect formula for making a child it  _ would _ work on; then she went to find a guy who would complete it. Dad left before this happened. Back when Jacob was born he was gone, I think. Mom doesn’t bring him up. Then I was made, as the perfect test rat for all mom’s potions. Not that she loves me any less than Jacob of course. 

 

The first potion she tried on me was a heterochromia one: it changes your left eye to the eye color of your soulmate. Mom was ecstatic when it worked. 

 

“Oh ho,” rumbled the sorting hat. “You’ll meet her  no matter which house you’re in. No worries there.  _ Ravenclaw! _ ” I feel my face get hot as I’m on my way to join Rowan at the Ravenclaw table. The cheers have me smiling. 

 

It isn’t long before I hear the displeasure as someone’s name is called; “Merula Snyde.” I watch the girl go up to sit down, but I can clearly see her embarrassment at everyones annoyance with her. 

 

_ She’s cute. _

 

And there they are. Stupid gay thoughts get out of my head, I’m supposed to be enjoying my time here. Not like they’re wrong, but I’m trying to see her as a person. Geez.

 

“ _ Another _ Snyde?” The sorting hat rumbles. “Must you really be sorted?  _ Slytherin! _ ” 

 

Some of the slytherins at the table behind me were unhappy, but the table cheered anyways. I have a feeling that no one is really surprised, anyway, that she ended up being a slytherin. There’s a look of relief on Merula’s face as she walks by. 

 

“I still can’t believe they let Merula in,” Rowan nudges me with her elbow. “After she bullied Ben Copper his whole way here on the train.” Rowan points to a boy over at the Gryffindor table, fidgeting with his robe hem. “Poor guy.”

 

_ Great, thinking the school bully was cute. Way to go. She is cute though.  _

 

“Really?” I respond. Merula turns to jab Rowan sharply in the back. 

 

“Don’t start talking shit about me like, twenty minutes after I’m here!” She whispers, angrily. Rowan just rolls her eyes right back at her. 

 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

 

One of the teachers talks, I think, or maybe all of them. I’m not paying attention to what they’re saying. I keep thinking back to what the sorting hat said to me.  _ Her _ . So it’s definitely a she.

 

I have trouble picturing her, no matter how hard I try. I’m not going to say something stupid like I’m straight, but I can’t imagine what my soulmate would look like as a girl though. Guess I wait and see.

 

“Hello? Emily?” Rowan’s voice brings me out of whatever I was just in. “Are you listening to me? I asked what you think of Merula.” I look around, and notice that somehow I ended up in the Ravenclaw dorms with Rowan. 

 

“Merula Snyde?” I ask. 

 

“You know  _ other _ snydes?”

 

“No… just clarifying.”

 

“Well, what do you think?”

 

I go with the first thing that comes to mind. “Merula’s cute.”

 

Then I mentally slap myself. 

 

“ _ Cute? _ ” Rowan questions, baffled. 

 

“I barely know her, Rowan.” I walk over to my bed and plop down. “Besides, the bullyings just rumors.”

 

“We’ll see.” Huffs Rowan, laying down and turning away from me. “We’ll see how Merula is.”

 

And I quickly do, the next day before potions class.

 

Rowan and I are only about seven minutes early to class, though this is going to be my least talented. Only my mom’s good at making potions in our family. I hang around outside till class starts to dread every minute I spend failing at  _ everything I do _ before wandering over to check out the end of the hall. 

 

It’s the slytherin house. The green torches outside are really cool.  Not a moment too soon does Merula come running out, panicking. I take this as a chance to ask about the bullying and report back to Rowan later. 

 

“Merula,” I start, stopping her as I had hoped. I can’t even finish my sentence before she whips around and faces me, one eye violet and one eye  _ blue.  _  I don’t have to see the left eye shimmer into a striking violet to match the other to know whats happening, I just feel it. I know.

 

I’ve never worn contacts or anything to hide mine; I always thought they were cool, one blue one purple eye. I’ve gotten tons of compliments on them. It never crossed my mind that someone would to hide them- that someone would need to hide them. Merula must have forgotten them- it?- this morning. And now that our eyes have met they’ve gone back to normal, like they were before the potion. 

 

_ Before the soulmate potion. The potion that changes your left eye into the color of your soulmates.  _

 

“Do you want something?” Merula snaps irritated. Her voice sounds different now- definitely because I know she’s my soulmate- and the mean tone  _ hurts _ more than it should have. “Wait a second, are you Rowe? The sister of the infamous Jacob Rowe?” 

 

“Um- Yeah I’m Emily-” 

 

“Remember this! I’m Merula Snyde, fourth generation slytherin and the best wizard at hogwarts!” 

 

“I know…” I say, but she can’t hear me, already in the classroom. It feels weird to know I’ve spent a lot of time hearing from my mom about how my soulmate is supposed to be my other half- and an equal amount of time anticipating how we would instantly be together. It hits me that she wouldn’t even know what this means.

 

I’m supposed to dislike bullies. I’m supposed to be mad at Merula for being mean to most other first years, including Ben, probably me in the future. Aside from the fact that Merula is most likely straight. 

 

_ At least I’ve found her. I think that’s enough for me. _

  
But no matter how many times I repeat that in my head as I walk into potions, I have a gut feeling that no matter how hard I try, I won’t be able to live without being by Merula’s side.


	2. My Fault, Probably

Potions class, as expected, is a nightmare. I’m just walking in to see Rowan and Merula sitting on either side of a chair; one that Rowan is gesturing me to. I sit down reluctantly, much to Merula’s dismay. 

 

“Rowe, what the fuck are you sitting down for?” Merula’s glare hurts, expectedly so. I sink low into the seat. 

 

“Hey, I saved this seat first!” Rowan comments. Merula doesn’t look convinced or content with the answer. “Way before you set eyes on it.” Merula actually pouts away- just a small one before she replaces it with a general look of discontempt.

 

The potion starts smoothly for me, adding my crushed snake fangs and pungous onions. Everything goes well.  

 

“That potion is not half bad, Miss Rowe,” Snape remarks as he walks by. I look to Merula, who gives me an unsettling smirk and turns back to her cauldron. 

 

“Yeah, nice job Emily!” Rowan smiles happily which I gratefully return. I wanted Merula’s approval, but I’m glad I have Rowans. “Wait. Is that supposed to be happening?’

 

I watch the cauldron explode, as Snape turns back to head over. “What has happened here? 10 points from Ravenclaw. I’m quite disappointed in you.”

 

I know instantly that Merula has done something, and that’s the reason why her smirk was so unsettling earlier. Did she feel that threatened? I nod and bow my head to Professor Snape. “I’m sorry, I must have done something wrong.”

 

“Hm. At least you acknowledge your wrongs.” As Professor Snape leaves, Rowan and Merula look equally stunned at my placid response.

 

“Emily, I know you know for a fact that it was  _ Merula _ who sabotaged your potion. Why didn’t you tell the Professor?” 

 

“I didn’t do anything.” Merula smiles smugly, looking totally proud of herself. 

 

_ At least she’s content. _

 

“It was my fault Rowan,” I explain. “I must have added too much snake fangs or something. Don’t worry about it.” Rowan turns back to her potion, unconvinced. 

 

I clean up all my ingredients and my exploded cauldron and head back to my table just as potions is ending. “Let’s just go eat or something,” I tell Rowan. We head over to the great hall and grab some sandwiches; Rowan gets ham and cheese, I get bread and cheese.

 

“That’s not a sandwich, Emily.” Rowan argues with me, waving her sandwich around wildly. I take a bite of mine. “That is literally just bread with cheese shoved in the middle. How can you possibly be enjoying that?”

 

“I like cheese.” I answer. “Also ham is disgusting. It’s like chicken but it’s not.” Rowan finishes her sandwich quicker than I expected her too, and watches me eat mine. I feel bad for making her wait.

 

“Alright so what was that with Merula back there? How could you defend her like that?” Rowan prompted me. I want to sink low into the seat but it’s difficult with the benches. 

 

“What’s wrong with defending her?”

 

“Everything!” Rowan yells, catching the attention of the whole great hall. She lowers her voice back to a normal volume. “It’s because of  _ who _ you’re defending. Plus it doesn’t help that you’re defending her from Snape even though she clearly sabotaged your potion. She has it out for you.” 

 

_ Merula looked pleased that I had gotten in trouble. At least she’s satisfied. _

 

“Maybe she does have it out for me, but that means she doesn’t have it out for anyone else right?” 

 

“She’s a bully! You heard what she did to Ben, and she hasn’t stopped either. Do you want me to bring him in so you can hear for yourself?” I try to stop her, but she's quickly got me by the arm and pulling me over to the charms classroom. Outside is a boy leaning against the wall, looking around nervously. 

 

“Hello Rowan.” He waves as we walk up, which me and rowan return.

 

“Hey Ben, this is Emily.” Rowan introduces me. 

 

“She isn’t here to get me right?” Ben places his hand on his robe where I think hs wand is.

 

“Hi Ben.”

 

“Jacob Rowe’s sister.” Rowan comments.

 

“Oh, how lovely. I’m Ben.” He reaches his hand out to me which I shake and give him a smile. 

 

“We’re here to talk about Merula bullying you.” Ben shifts on his feet, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. 

 

“Oh. Not much to say is there? She’s a bully.”

 

“See?” Rowan nudges me in my side. “She’s a bully, emily, and you can’t go around defending bullies like her.  _ Especially _ not her.”

 

“I’ll defend whoever I like.” I retort, crossing my arms over my chest. 

 

“Let’s not argue,” pipes Ben from the wall.

 

“I’m not arguing, I’m just saying that whether Merula is a bully or not I’m still going to l-defend her.”

 

“Fine!” huffs Rowan, turning to the opposite side of the corridor. “No arguments then. We’re friends, after all.”

 

Flying class is more or less awkward after that. Why wouldn’t it be? I just fought with Rowan over defending Merula and then had attend class with all three of them; besides the fact that I got so distracted staring at Merula that I missed what Madame Hooch said and had to ask Rowan to tell me. I got the hang of it after that however. I summoned my broom a the lesson was ending, earning a frown from Merula who couldn’t summon hers. 

 

_ That’s not fair, you shouldn’t make Merula so unhappy Emily.  _

 

I shake my head. “Sorry Merula.” Rowan looks at me like I’ve spontaneously grown a second head. 

 

“What happened? Why are you apologizing to Merula?” 

 

“Nothing Rowan, just something happened.” Rowan gave me a confused look, but nodded and left. I glance back at Merula, but it just twists my stomach again. 

 

_ It should have been her doing well. _

 

No matter, I can’t change what happened now so there’s no point in hurting over it anymore. I try to stop the thoughts as I return back to the ravenclaw common room. No one is in when I get there. I pull out my notes on potions class, and add to the bottom. 

 

**Coating cauldron in bulbadox powder causes explosion.**

 

I spend hours looking through my notes, trying to study and learn them off by heart. I also take time to look at the stars on the ceiling, by far my favourite feature of the ravenclaw common room. When I put everything away I still have difficulty sleeping. 


	3. A Duel, I Suppose.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Merula challenges Emily to a duel, but not really. Theres a time skip to fourth year because romance is happening sorry not sorry

I’m not surprised when I get to flying class the next day and Merula glares me down from across the yard. Rowan gave me a knowing look. 

 

“Class hasn’t even started yet and she’s already got it out for you.” She commented, watching Merula stick her tongue out. Cute. No, not cute, I’m supposed to be worried. 

 

“Yeah, I know.” I fidgeted with my robe as Merula gripped her broom a little tighter. “How bad do you think it is, on a scale from one to ten?” 

 

“8. She’ll probably challenge you to a duel.” 

 

Rowan is right when lunch rolls around and Merula is stabbing her food aggressively. 

 

“Is she okay?” Rowan whispered. Merula waves her fork at Rowan. 

 

“I do  _ not _ need some absolute doorknob worrying about me.” She quipped. “I’m fine for your information.” 

 

“Sorry Merula, I was the one who was worried. My fault.” 

 

“Are you  _ trying  _ to duel me?” 

 

“No I didn’t-“ It didn’t take long for  me to realize that she was making an excuse to duel me.  “Ah- I mean yes- I’ll duel you.” There was a chorus of gasps from those who could hear. 

 

“You’ll- I knew it! Alright, meet me in the courtyard after classes.” 

 

I couldn’t even look anyone in the eyes for the rest of the day, especially Rowan. I knew she was suspicious on why I kept defending or making excuses for Merula at every turn, and this would just make it worse. She continuously tried confronting me on it during class. I have the feeling that any explanation I could give her wouldn’t even make sense anyways.

 

I was made to complete mom’s potions. It’s more to me than Rowan could understand I think, because it’s not just falling in love with someone. It’s different. And that's exactly the reasoning I use on Rowan when she starts questioning me. 

 

“Emily, you just admitted to challenging Merula to a duel.” Her plain tone makes my nerves run high. “You just agreed to duel Merula Snyde.” 

 

“I know.” I reply, adjusting my hold on the books. “It’s complicated. It’s too difficult to explain. I mean, um, I don’t think you’d get it.” 

 

“Try me.” Rowan snorts, but I don’t. Half of me wants to tell Rowan so that she’ll make it into a big deal while the other half knows that if I told her, it might me change my mind about Merula. I don’t want to disappoint my mom by not following through with the purpose I was born for.

 

Rowan glances away awkwardly and I feel guilty. I couldn’t possibly tell Rowan. “Well, let me know when you want to explain…” She tells me, turning down the hallway. I watch as she walks away, but I know there’s nothing I could do to fix it except for explain everything, which I wont do at this moment. 

 

I spend the entirety of potions class distracted, half worried about the duel and half concerned that my short-lived friendship with Rowan is over. Merula makes glances in my direction, which I only notice because I’m staring at her, then she scribbles something down and slides me the note.

 

_ Court Tower Courtyard. _

 

I barely get a chance to walk out of the classroom before Merula’s pulling the hems of my robe  up the stairs and around to the clock tower courtyard. My robe is excessively long, I made sure to order it long enough to touch the ground. I’m not sure why but I like the idea of my robe being able to touch the ground all the time. 

 

Merula suddenly lets go of my robe and whips her wand out from inside her robe. I make no advances for mine. My attitude must piss her off, because the next thing I know she's begun casting flipendo and I’m being thrown backwards. My back aches from the pressure when I try to stand up again. “Cast a spell, Rowe! Go mad just like your brother did!” I still don’t draw my wand. 

 

Merula grips her wand tighter, her hands a lighter shade of white. “ _ Rictusempra! _ ” I clutch my stomach in laughter. It was a spell I certainly didn’t expect Merula to use, considering there were cruller tactics to use. “Why aren’t you casting spells at me? What are you plotting?!”

 

“I’m not plotting anything, I swear. I’m not going to duel you Merula.” Merula shakes her wand at me, no spell this time, before tucking back inside her robe and running back inside the school.

 

“This isn’t over you pillock!” She screams before she disappears.

 

*Yes, a big time skip* {OPTIONAL: Hold On by Chord Overstreet}

 

For the next few years, Merula doesn’t bother me all that much. A few taunts here and there. For the most part it’s outright avoiding contact with me, which makes me sad. One time she actually swerved when she saw me in the hallway. Another it was a full 360. And then fourth year, something must have snapped. She held herself differently. Her attitude had changed. Everyone else started to notice it too, slowly. She was more… snappy. Irritable. So when she was outside screaming at Rowan that she was dumb and didn’t deserve to be in RavenClaw, stepping in to subdue her was a bad decision. 

 

“ _ Flipendo!” _ Is the only thing I hear before I go falling to the ground. No warning. The students in the audience are stunned into silence, in disbelief that Merula would cast first unprovoked. A wave of murmurs spreads through the crowd before Rowan speaks up. 

 

“Oi, what’d you do that for?” Rowan steps right in between Merula and I, holding her hands out. “She wasn’t doing anything to you!” I stand up slowly. 

 

“Don’t worry about it Rowan, no harm done. See?” I do a little spin, but my leg hurts and I have to do an awkward jump which Rowan notices. “Merula, please leave Rowan alone okay? I’m sure we can-” 

 

Another “ _ Flipendo !”  _ comes from Merula’s wand and hits me. I land on my butt again. 

 

“Why don’t you fight back?!” She screamed at me. Rowan was trying to rush over and take her wand from her, but when I stand up again I’m hit with another. Over and over again. “Just cast something back!” The desperation leaks through every word she says in between spells. She looks like she’s going to cry.

 

Rowan stops trying to get the wand from Merula, which clearly isn’t working anyhow, and focuses her attention on my well being. I can barely focus on anything. Professor Snape and Professor Flitwick rush over behind Merula and take her wand before she can cast anything else. The last thing I hear is Merula telling the professors “It’s a shame she didn’t she fight back…” before I black out. 

 

When I wake up in the hospital wing, I’m surrounded by my friends; Rowan, Ben and Penny. Rowan squeezes my hand tighter when she notices that I’ve opened my eyes, and both Penny and Ben give me small reassuring smiles. “Emily! I’m so glad you’re okay. How do you feel?” 

 

“Fine, Rowan. What did I miss?” I ask her. Penny snorts quietly from beside Ben.

 

“Oh Emily, you woke up as soon as someone was starting to pick you up, and the first thing you asked was what happened to Merula!” Penny chimed, giggling in between words. I’m glad someone found the situation funny. 

 

“I was all concerned about you, Emily.” Rowan adds. “But you just started asking about Merula! ‘Is she okay? How is she feeling? Is she in trouble?’ Just thinking about it makes my blood boil! I’ve let this whole thing with Merula slide for years while you evaded my questions, but not anymore! I think we  _ all _ deserve a proper explanation.”

 

As I look from Rowan to Ben to Penny, I feel guilty for not telling them about the soulmate thing sooner. We had been friends for years, and Rowan was right. So I told them a piece of the truth. 

 

“Well, I just think Merula and I would make good friends you know?” I say, fidgeting with my hands. I know I’d already convinced myself that Merula and I were destined to just be friends but saying it outloud to Penny, Rowan and Ben makes my stomach flip. 

 

Penny gives me a skeptical look, but Ben looks like he didn’t hear a thing I was saying because he was so shocked. “ Emily, you want to be friends with  _ Merula Snyde _ ?” Ben repeated. 

 

“Friends.” Penny adds mockingly. “You want to be  _ just _ friends?”

 

“Now wait a second Penny,what exactly are you suggesting here?” Rowan interrupts. As I realize what Penny’s insinuating, I blush which doesn’t go unnoticed by Penny before I can cover my face.

 

“It’s not like that you guys!” I try from behind my fingers, but Penny is already laughing away from her side of the bed. 

 

“YOU LIKE MERULA SNYDE OH MY GOSH!” Penny squeals excitedly. 

 

“Emily are you… serious? She’s been bullying you since first year…” Rowan comments, gently squeezing my hand to which I squeeze back reassuringly. 

 

“I think that we could be great-” I try to explain, but I'm cut off by Merula entering.

 

“Oi, Rowe! You better explain-” Shouts Merula as she rushes into the hospital wing. She looks a little out of breath, like she ran all the way here. When she spots my friends, she immediately turns to leave again. 

 

“Wait wait,” Rowan sighs, I’m surprised it wasn’t Penny that stopped Merula from leaving. “We’re done here. You can talk to her, I suppose.” I smile gratefully at Rowan, knowing how hard it must be for her to let the same girl who put me in the hospital wing to talk with me. Penny escorts a slack-jawed Ben out of the hospital wing as Merula approaches my bed. 

 

At first she stares out the window behind me rather than talking, so I follow her eyes to an spectacled owl perched on a tree outside. “Back at home, I spent a day on my deck at my grandparents drawing birds.” The sudden speech on my part startled Merula, who looked at me in clear distress, but I continued. “The most common one I kept seeing was the black-capped chickadee, so I pulled out my sketchbook and pencils and just started to draw it on our feeder. My sketchbooks still pretty empty though, I don’t draw enough to fill the pages.” 

 

I chuckle at my last statement, and so does Merula. Somehow the atmosphere between becomes a little lighter, warm even, like a moment you thought you had forgotten but just remembered instead. “Although we don’t have any owls where I am, the birds we see are still very pretty. I once tried to write a story about birds. It didn’t get finished.” I look back to Merula and smile at her when we make eye contact. She smiles back at me.  

 

“That’s nice.” She replies. I’m not even sure how it happened, honestly. It’s like me and Merula just suddenly came to see the same thing at the same time just because of an owl in a tree out the window. It makes me appreciate how the world works, for a second. “Why didn’t you draw your wand, Rowe?” 

 

I clench my fist slightly before answering, trying to think of a poetic response. “If you want to help an injured bird, do you chase it or wait for it to come to you?” I tell her, almost regretting my choice of words, but I don’t.

 

“Are you comparing me to an injured bird?” When I hear her tone, I know I’ve struck a nerve. 

 

“You wait for it to come to you, of course, because you want it to trust you. You’re hurt, Merula. Anyone can see that.” Merula looks away solemnly. To choose what her response is I assume, but I’m glad I’m getting a response at all. I want to be a friend to her. That’s all I need to do in my life. “If you ever need  _ anything _ , come to me okay? I will never refuse you.” 

 

“I’m the greatest witch at Hogwarts.” Merula states, but it sounds like she’s reading it straight out of a book. “I don’t need help, especially from the likes of you.” As she shuffles to the door, I want to stop her. To say something that will make her come back and talk with me longer. This feels like the first conversation me and Merula have ever  _ really _ had, and I don’t want the fuzzy feeling from the moment to fade away. Her replies seemed like it was going to be the last time we talked. 

 

But the words aren’t there. All I can think is about the fact that she looks really good right now, walking away like this. I’m left sitting in the bed, staring at the covers and trying to formulate what to do when Penny and Rowan ask what happened. 

  
  



	4. Chapter 4: Take Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!!
> 
> MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Once I got back to the Ravenclaw dorm I wrote my mom about Rowan. When I had mentioned her over previous trips home, mom demanded that I invite her over third year and been surprised to discover that Rowan’s DNA was also conveniently coded for the potion to work. It took me weeks to convince her not to give a potion to Rowan. I thought now was a good time to get one if she wanted, though, considering I had already explained the soulmate thing to her. 

Rowan invites me to eat with her and Penny almost instantly once I’m feeling okay. My mom still hadn’t got back about the potion but I knew it would be soon, so I had to explain everything now before the situation got worse. And I do, to both of them. 

“So you and Merula…” Rowan trails off, deep in thought. The great hall is quite empty aside from Penny, Rowan, and I, which I’m grateful for, and Rowan is taking this whole soulmate thing surprisingly well. “I mean, I’m kind of envious to be honest.” Almost the most shocking thing I think I’ve ever heard.

“Envious? Of the soulmate thing?” I ask, a little confused. She’s envious of the fact that me and Merula are soulmates? This is one of the situations I had imagined, but it definitely wasn’t one that I expected. 

“You talk about her with such dedication… It’s just refreshing to watch you.” She clarifies. 

Penny pipes up from Rowans side. “But how does she do it? Potions like this, they’re too complicated to just ‘Think up’.” It’s a question I’ve asked my mom before, and she’s given me the gist of it. Not enough to replicate it, surely, and even then my mom couldn’t explain how to make it to me. 

“She’s never explained it me, all I know is that it changes something in the other person’s genetic code.” I tell Penny, who stands up and fixes her robes. “Sorry I don’t know more.” A lie, but part of me likes that only my mother can make them. I don’t want Penny to figure out too much. 

“Alright, I’m gonna figure this out. I like a good challenge!” I glance to Rowan as we watch Penny leave the great hall, rolling her sleeves up. She looked excited to be investigating. Rowan and I sit in silence for a couple of moments while she looks lost in thought. 

“Rowan?” I ask worriedly. “Are you okay?” She stands up and pulls her chair out, adjusting her robes. 

“I’m fine, just…” She replies, stopping in her tracks. “Do you think your mom could make another one of those potions?”

When mom told me about how she made the first one I was in awe of her. The genetic potential someone needs for the potion was insane, all these genes that most people had inactive were required in order for the potion to take full effect. If all of the genes aren’t active it won’t work correctly, even if you have most of them active, and every potion has to be tailored to the specific genetic makeup of the individual. That’s just what my mom told me though. 

“Ah, yeah. Actually it was pretty hard to convince her not to make one for you when you visited last year.” I admit. 

“She was already going to make me one? That’s insane.” Rowan comments, resting her head in her palm. 

“She’s a little eccentric. Once she gets a spark for a potion, it’s like her mind drowns anything else out until it’s completed. One letter and the potion will be here in a flash, I bet.” I laugh, thinking of my mothers excited face as she reads the letter. These things always seem to make her smile like she used to, or at least that’s what Jacob would tell me when I asked what mother used to look like with dad around. Sometimes it feels like he’s the only one left in the house who remembers. 

Rowan opens her mouth to say something, but she’s interrupted before she can when a frazzled looking hufflepuff runs into the great hall. “THE TEACHERS FOUND A DEAD BODY OUTSIDE” They yelled, almost getting trampled by a sea of people rushing out the door and to the courtyard. Rowan and I looked at each other before following them out to the courtyard. Whispers and murmurs of what had happened filled the hall as we all filed out into the yard. Some more prominent voices suggested that someone had broke into the school and got a student. Others voiced that it was one of the other students who killed them. It was obvious that everyone was scared to find out the truth of the situation, especially as many students deliberately tried to stay at the back of the crowd so they couldn’t see anything. 

There’s little resistance when me and Rowan push our way to the front of the crowd. It’s not a pretty sight. Lying out on the grass is a Hufflepuff, one of the 3rd years, who I only recognize through overhearing a passing conversation about his yearly plans. I catch Penny’s eyes from across the circle and grab Rowans attention, pulling her along as we shuffle through the crowd. We stand next to her in silence for a few minutes. “Cassius.” She says, breaking the silence. “Cassius Elfrida. I helped him out with potions for a little bit last year.” 

Although some of the professors had gathered in an attempt to hide the body from the students, it was still evident at a glance what had happened. His broom lay a few feet away, bent out of shape, a little like his body. All of his joints and bones jutted out in awkward positions that could only be considered as unnatural and that could have only happened by him falling off his broom. “I’ve heard of him,” Rowan commented, face growing pale at the sight of his mangled corpse. “He’s the best- Well I guess he was the best, the best flyer of his class. How could this have happened? If he was the best, how did he fall off?” 

Neither of them wanted to admit it. The only possible explanation as to why Cassius had fallen off his broom was on purpose, because he couldn’t have fallen off by accident. “He wanted to fall off.” I replied. My tongue felt thick and heavy inside of my mouth, forcing the word suicide back down my throat before I even had the chance to say it. A loud sob rang through the crowd as a slytherin pushed his way through the crowd and ran toward Cassius’ dead body. 

The ensuing silence was painfully suffocating. All everyone could do was watch helplessly as he cradled the lifeless body and cried. Even the professors could do nothing in the face of this tragedy, only listen to his cries and pleas to come back. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it! I’ll tell you a hundred times if you come back, please! I love you, I need you here with me! Cassius please don’t LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!” His voice cracked at the end, jolting the professors back into reality enough to usher the rest of us back into the school. 

Most students wandered to their dorms, distraught, but I noticed Merula walking towards the great hall and tugged Rowan’s sleeve to indicate that I was following her. She nodded and headed for the ravenclaws, leaving me by myself. She sauntered in head hung low, adjusting her robe as she saw fit before plonking down on the far side of the Slytherin table. I sit down, putting a comfortable distance (for her at least) between us. Merula looks up to me for a second, a look of curiosity and irritation crossing her face before returning her eyes back down to the table. “We’re not all like that, you know.” She started. “Slytherins, I mean. Hunter just happened to be an exception, since he was good friends and all. We aren’t emotional.” 

Her comment shocked me. How could she worry about what I thought of her house and forget that one of our classmates just died? Thinking about how emotional that slytherin- Hunter, as Merula had called him- got over Cassius’ death didn’t mean anything. Let alone the fact that they were obviously closer than friends with his remark, ‘I love you.’ “Merula, I don’t think that at all.” I responded, my tone portraying how surprised I felt on the inside. “I’m more concerned about the fact that one of our classmates just killed himself-” 

“Wait, what? Killed himself? Cassius did?” She interrupted putting her hand down on the table.

“Well, yeah, it’ s… I mean his body was right there, you saw it right? He couldn’t have just fallen off his broom like that.” I tell her. Merula goes quiet for a minute to process. I watch as her face falls in realization, and she looks like she’s going to start crying. “Hey, it’s okay. If you need to cry just-” The words barely come out before I choke on a sob. I hadn’t even noticed I was going to cry. 

“H-Hey-” She said worriedly, as I tentatively reached over and latched on lighty to her robe. I knew the great hall was empty after what just happened, but I looked around just to double check for Merula. I knew she didn’t really want anyone to see us together. Once I had thoroughly checked, I leaned in and scooted closer to her on the seat, nuzzling my head onto her shoulder and wrapping my arms around her back. 

And it wasn’t a hug that made me flustered because I was in love with Merula. It was different. A comforting hug for the person that I wanted to trust the most, and that I wanted to trust me in return. Thoughts of her as my soulmate or even my crush had subsided for this moment, and I was just satisfied knowing I could be there for her. I knew she needed me. But she didn’t need a partner, what she needed was a friend. I was willing to be that. 

Besides the fact that I had started crying pretty bad and was getting tears all over her shoulder. “He was just a t-third year.” I wailed, squeezing her robes tighter. “He was younger than us! He didn’t even get to see his 4th year…”

Merula slowly relaxed into the hug too, not quite as comfortable as I was, but less stiff. Her hands lightly reached my back. “I knew Hunter a little but… I didn’t know the guy who had died, you know?” Her fingers began to trace along my back. “But seeing Hunter like that…” She sighs into my ear. 

Merula and I sit for a while in the silent great hall and take comfort in each others company until Professor McGonagall escorts us to our dorms.


End file.
